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After confronting him, she discovered that ‘pito’ is also a type of flute.

Tales of miscommunication like this one are abundant in cross-cultural relationships, though this particular mistake is only common among flute players and their partners.

All of his exes are “histéricas,” and make no mistake: you will be too.

His eagerness for anything from milanesas to Soda Stereo to door hinges will have you seriously reevaluate your mental health.

I suggest you keep a sizeable alfajor stash under your pillow for these occasions. Imagine second grade with actual cooties (we call them STDs now).

Adult Argentine society is a raging battle of the sexes, in which men stick to one side and women to the other. The Argentine equivalent of our Anglo-Saxon “player,” the chamuyero will go to any and all lengths in order to literally charm the pants off of you.

As university degrees in Argentina typically take five or six years to complete, most university-educated Argentines live in the family home until they are in their mid-twenties — at least.

You — sweet, innocent, idiot foreigner — spent the next five minutes scrambling on the floor looking for whichever possession of yours had taken a leap for freedom…There is no lover more alluring than one from a different culture and everyone knows that bringing home a Latin lover is a far better souvenir than a squashed (Argentine cookie) or a fake Boca Juniors t-shirt.